t 

X 



PS 3503 
.R53 P6 
1919 
Copy 1 



?olTy L 



ou 



BY 



GLADYS RUTH BRIDGHAM 




PRICE 25 CENTS 



Eldridge Entertainment House 

Franklin, Ohio Denver, Colo. 



> 



SERGEANT JIM, OF THE U. S. MOINES 

By Seymour S. Tibbals 

Sergeant Jim is a young farmer who lives with his- 
widowed mother, and when America entered the World 
War he enlisted in the V.. S. Marines. Sergeant Jim 
saves a woman from bel^ig robbed of her farm and a 
friend from being sent to jail for a crime of which he is- 
not guilty. He brings about the awakening of a selfish-^ 
miser and reunites a couple that had been separated. A- 
play introducing real tyi.8s of American rural character. 
Plenty of action and a strojig, wholesome story. Pete 
and Dinah are two /^ood negro comedy parts. Three 
acts take place in t^e sitting room on the Morgan farm. 
The other act in ia French peasant's home, where the 
Marines are billeted. When the Boches shell the village 
Sergeant Jim and his comrades save the inmates of 
the home and prove the fidelity and courage of the U. S. 
Marines. Stage settings and costuming are not difficult. 
Seven men and twelve women characters. Time, 21/^ 
hours. 

Price 25 Cents 

A TRUE BLUE YANKEE LAD 
By Seymour S. Tibbals 

A patriotic play in two acts for twelve boys. Jack 
Doran, a real American boy, meets the East Side gang 
and shows them why they should be loyal to the Stars 
and Stripes. A play worth while, founded on the idea 
that America is the melting pot of the world and that*' 
the real work of making- true citizens should begin with 
the boys. The characters are all strong types and the 
play will appeal to Boy Scouts and older youth. One 
exterior, one interior scene. Easily costumed. Time, 
one hour. 

Price 25 Cents 

ELDRIDGE ENTERTAINMENT HOUSE, 

Franklin, Ohio Denver, Colo. 



POLLY LOU 



By GLADYS RUTH BRIDGHAM 



Copyriskt 1919. Eldridge Entertaimnent Houae 

I 

1 



Published by 



ELDRIDGE ENTERTAINMENT HOUSE, 

TRANKLIN, OHIO DENVER. COLO. 



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\ 

CAST OF CHARACTERS. 



WILLIARD BAILEY 
MURRY WESCOTT 
CHESTER WARREN 

Harvard Juniors 
JOSEPH GREEN— Harvard Freshman 
ANDERSON DOUBLIN— Reporter 
CEDRIC ANSTRUTHERS 
MRS. ANNIE BAILEY 
MILLICENT CURTIS— Her Niece 
JUNE WESCOTT— Hurry's Sister 
SYLVIA WARREN— Chester's Sister 
HELEN WHITNEY 
FRANCES ARNOLD 
INEZ— Cashier at the Inn 
MURIEL— A Waitress 



ACT I. — Study in suite of rooms occupied by Williard 
Bailey and Murry Wescott in a fraternity house at 
Harvard. An afternoon in October. 

ACT 11. — Tea room in the Woodstock Inn, Silverton 
Village. Afternoon of the next day. 



^.g ©CO 5rH20 



POLLY LOU 



ACT I. 

(Afternoon, Study in suite of rooms occupied 
by Murry Wescott and WilUard Bailey, in a frater- 
nity house at Harvard. Should be exits right, left 
and center. A chiffonier, chairs, couch, desk. Study 
tabic center. As curtain rises Murry Wescott sits 
at table writing,) 

Chester— (raps at door center. Speaks from ou4h 
eide.) In ? 

Murry — (without looking up,) Yes. 

Chester — Busy? 

Murry — Certainly not. 

Chester — (opens door and stands in doorway) Then 
of course you are glad to see me. 

Murry — Tickled to death. 

Chester — (walks forward) Say, Wes, are you going 
up to Silverton tomorrow? 

Murry — (slowly looking up from work) Why, I sup- 
pose I am, Chester. 

Chester — That doesn't sound exactly as if you were 
looking forward to the event with joyous anticipation. 

Murry — The truth is, Chester, I should stay right 
here. I'm wasting too much time and I have sense 
enough to realize it, but I suppose June would have sev- 
en fits if I didn't show up after promising I would. 

Chester — Sure she would. It is certainly a broth- 
erly duty on your part to be on hand. Why look so for- 
lorn? We always have a (using feminine tone of voice) 
charming time in Silverton. 

Murry — Oh, I haven't a word to say against the 
time. The girls know how to dp things. 



4 Polly Lou 

Chester — ^You bet they do. Forget dull care, old man, 
and make up your mind to frivol. You aren't really be- 
hind in anything. You are only afraid you will be. It*s 
easier to catch up than you think for. 

Murry — Yes, for you, perhaps. If I could swallow 
facts in great big gulps the way you do and then hypno- 
tize a prof into thinking I had studied the subject, I 
might feel at ease in regard to my future. 
(Enter, c, Williard Bailey) 

Williard — Well, are you going with us, Murry? 

Chester — Of course he is ! 

Williard — All right, then I'll go. Wes, I'm going out 
of town for the night. 

Murry — (surprised) You are, Will? 

Williard — Yes. It's a matter of importance. Some- 
thing I can't say anything about now. Perhaps I can 
later. I'll meet you fellows at Silverton tomorrow night. 

Murry — All right. 

Williard — (to Chester) You will get there first. Be 
sure your sister saves me some dances. Seven or eight 
at least. 

Murry — I admire your nerve. 

Chester — I see you getting that many. However, I 
will do the best I can for you. 

Williard — (turning to Murry) We are looking for- 
ward to meeting your sister, Murry. 

Chester — Hm! Speak for yourself. I have my 
doubts about anybody who claims relationship with Wes. 

Murry — Just for that you don't meet June. 

(Joe Green suddenly appears in the doorway c. 
He wears a hath robe and sneakers. His hair is 
tousled and he has a cheerful grin and a high- 
pitched voice.) 

Joe — Say, fellows, will someone lend me a shirt? 

Murry, Williard and Chester — (together in different 
tones of voice) No, we will not! 

Joe — Oh, Lizzie, did you ever hear the like? If 
you're Roing to do chorus work you should practice. 



Polly Lou 5 

Williard — Well, you seem to have more than your 
usual nerve with you. You are a sight to be running 
around the building, if any one should ask you. 

Joe — No one has asked me, or is at all likely to. You 
never see any one around this building — any one who 
really counts. 

Murry — Say, I'll give you about three seconds to be 
standing on the other side of the door with the door shut. 

Joe — (sits on table, folding hath robe about himh 
Oh, soft pedal, Mr. Wescott. I've got to have a shirt. 
I'm going up to Silverton tomorrow night. 

Chester — (ivith a shout) Are you getting ready 
now? 

Williard — What do you mean, Joe? 

Joe — Cousin Millicent has invited me. 

Murry — Well, have a heart. 

Williard — I don't believe anything of the kind. 

Joe — You are at liberty to come down to my room 
and examine the card on my desk. 

Chester — Has Miss Curtis suddenly got softeninj? of 
the brain? 

Joe — And so I've got to have a shirt. And T miJst 
have it today because Fm going to a party tonight and 
on a pinch the same shirt might do twice. I've only got 
two to my name and they both look as if I had been heav- 
ing coal. 

Murry — W^ell, for the love of — go and buy yourself 
some new ones. 

Joe — Nothing doing. At the present sitting cash on 
hand will take me to Silverton and possibly back again. 
I may have to borrow part of my carfare heme. 

Chester — Hel-lup ! 

Williard — You had better be sure of your cash be- 
fore you start, Joe. If this trio ever saw you stranded 
sixteen miles from Cambridge there would be one cele- 
bration. You are the freshest thing that ever struck 
town. You seem to think because I'm your cousin that 
you can run the university and — 



6 Polly Lou 

Joe — Oh, Merry Christmas ! You don't flatter your- 
self that Fm puffed up over you. You aren't an asset. 
You're a handicap. I have to spend half my time ex- 
plaining why I am unfortunate enough to be a member 
of your family. 

Williard — Is that so? Well, I don't know why Milly 
has been crazy enough to invite you to Silverton, but I 
tell you this, if you go up there and pull off any of your 
usual stunts you will have reason to think that you are 
unfortunate in being a member of my family. 

Joe — No, I think it will be an unusual stunt this 
time. It looks as if I was going without a shirt. 

Williard — You certainly are as far as we are con- 
cerned. 

Joe — And the Glenning's tonight! Shirtless at the 
Glenning's! Can you fancy it? I expect it will be in the 
morning papers. 

Williard — We should worry. You are at liberty to 
run along, little one. 

Joe — I bet you live to repent, (starts toward door) 

Williard — I shan't lose a great deal of sleep over 
that. 

Joe — (exits c — looks back with m grin) And I want 
you to remember at the very last that I forgave you. 

Murry — (laughing) You might as well save your 
breath, Wil. 

Williard — I never saw his match. 

Chester — Nor I. Did you notice he said Glenning's? 
How on earth does he do it ? I have tried for three years 
to meet someone in that family. 

Williard — He accidentally met young Glenning and 
they have been inseparable ever since. He accidentally 
got a room in this house. He accidentally wrote some 
verses about the junior class that have made him the 
idol of the freshman class. He accidentally does every- 
thing. There's some accident about tomorrow night. 
Wait and see. 

Chester — Well, I wish I might meet with the same 
kind of accidents. 



Polly Lou 7 

Williard — (looks at his watch.) I must be off. 
I have just about time to make my train. 

Murry — Aren't you going to take anything with 
you? 

Williard — Sure, (exits I, and reenters ivith suit- 
case and coat.) I packed this noon. See you fellows to- 
morrow night in Silverton. Good-bye. (Exits c.) 

Chester and Murry — (calling after him) Good-bye. 

Chester — Where the deuce do you suppose he is go- 
ing in such a hurry? 

MvArry — I haven't the least idea. Something unex- 
pected must have come up. I don't believe he knew any- 
thing about it last night. One thing is sure. It isn't any 
of our business. 

Chester — (quickly) Oh, certainly not. 

Murry — I wonder if Joe lands a shirt. 

Chester — That makes me think. I've got to hike 
down to Lo Hi Lung's with one. I haven't a clean one to 
my name. 

Murry — Nice time to think of it. Do you suppose 
Lo Hi will do up a shirt before tomorrow afternoon? 

Chester — He wouldn't have to if your shoulders were 
as broad as mine. Want to run along with me? 

Murry — I'll go for the exercise, but that is all it will 
amount to. Lo Hi will beam mildly upon you and say: 
"you dome black day aftler to-moUy." 

Chester — He'd better not. Cambridge is liable to be 
minus one little Chink, (they exeunt c, — slight pause — 
Mrs. Bailey enters c, — she is inclined to he stout — about 
40 years old — out of breath — looks back from door) 

Mrs. B. — There is no one here at all. Do come in 
and stop acting so foolish. 

(Millicent Curtis enters c. She is about 20, 
dark blue coat, large hat, heavy veil. She looks 
about uneasily. Mrs. B. Sinks into chair by table.) 

Mrs. B. — Dear me! Those stairs! I'm not as slen- 
der as I used to be. (Piits hand to heart) I feel a dis- 
tinct flutter. I have some heart tablets. (Opens hag.) 



8 Polly Lou 

Millicent — Oh, Aunt Annie, I never felt so ridiculous 
in my life ! If you could only understand how absurd it 
is for us to come in here this way. 

Mrs. B. — This is my son's room. I'd like to know 
since when it has become absurd for a mother to visit her 
son. 

Millicent — But no one ever comes like this unless 
there is a tea or something. 

Mrs. B. — Well, if it will make you feel any better, 
we can have tea, although — (looking about) — I don't see 
the slightest sign of tea things. I am sure I don't see 
why Williard should take up drinking tea. He never could 
even bear the smell of it. 

Millicent — (impatiently walking about) Oh, Auntie, 
they only have it on special occasions. When they enter- 
tain girls, you know. It wouldn't be quite so bad if Wil 
occupied these rooms alone, but Murry Wescott has them 
with him, and he's likely to come in any minute. 

Mrs. B. — I am sure I hope he will. I should like 
very much to meet him. 

Millicent — He is one of these very stiff young men, 
so terribly proper. What would he think? 

Mrs. B. — I think you must be mistaken, my dear. 
Wil is very fond of him. Will you see if there is any 
water handy? I want to take this heart tablet. 

Millicent — (looking about the room) My heaven! 
If I had known what you wanted me to do, I guess I 
would have stayed in Silverton. 

Mrs. B. — Millicent, all your life I have tried to do 
my duty by you and now (begins to weep) when I am 
in trouble you regret that you have come to my aid. 

Millicent — Auntie dear, I'm so sorry. I'm a regular 
brute. I know you are in trouble and I do want to help 
you, and it's true that you have been perfectly dear to 
me all my life. (Puts her arms around Mrs. B.) If I 
was your age perhaps I shouldn't feel so queer about be- 
ing here. TTurns to doorj Perhaps there is some water 
in here. (Exits r and re-enters with a pitcher and glass) 
Do you think this is water ? (looks into pitcher) 



Polly Lou 9 

Mrs. 5.— Well, what do you suppose it is? Jamaica 
ginger? 

Millicent— (pours a glass of water and hands it to 
Mrs. B., who takes her tablet) 

MilUcent— Auntie, I don't see what it is you want 
me to do. You won't even tell me what has happened. 

Mrs. B.—(dramaticalhj) I want you to lean upon. 
I feel the need of support in this great trial which has 
come to us. Williard has disgraced the family. You 
don't need to know any more. That certainly is enough. 
Look in my bag and see if you can find some smelling 
salts. 

MilUcent— Oh, Auntie, I can't believe he has done 
anything very dreadful. I'm sure there must be a mis- 
take. What does Uncle John think about it? Why 
didn't he come with you. (Finds salts and hands them to 
Mrs. B.) 

Mrs. B. — John, thank heaven, knows nothing of the 
matter and I only hope he will never have to. That is 
why I have come. I must see Williard and see what can 
be done. The ghastly truth must be kept from his father 
if possible. Milly, will you just run around to some of 
the other rooms and see if you can find Williard? 

MilUcent— (aghast) Run around to the other 
rooms! Aunt Annie, T can't! It's bad enough to be in 
this room, without going into any other room. 

Mrs. B. — Gracious, child, pull your veil down. No 
one could tell whether you are black or white. 

MilUcent — Oh, Auntie, that's even worse. A veiled 
lady running around a college house asking for Williard 
iiaiiey. 

Mrs. B. — Well, I suppose it's perfectly proper for 
his mother to run around looking for him. You w^ait here 
for me. 

MilUcent — (distressed) Oh, Auntie, I can't. 

Mrs. B. — Millicent, I must say you surprise me. You 
are willing to do neither one thing nor another. Cer- 
tainly if you should ask a favor of me — 



10 Polly Lou 

Millicentr— (interrupting) Oh, I'll do it. I'll wait 
here for you. 

(Mrs. B. exits c. Millicent pulls her veil down 
over her face, walks about uneasily, finally sitting 
down by table, her back to door. Murry Wescott 
enters c, stops in surprise — suddenly darts forward,, 
puts arms around Millicent and kisses her through, 
the veil.) 

Murry — Why, June, when did you come? This is a 
surprise. (She screams, pulls herself away from him 
and goes half way across the room.) 

Murry — (looking at her intently and trying to see 
through the veil) Great heavens! Have I made a mis- 
take? 

Millicent — (breathing hard) You certainly have! 

Murry — I beg your pardon. I do most sincerely. Of 
course it sounds weak, but on my honor, I thought you 
were my sister. You see, she has a coat exactly like that 
and you were back to me, you know, and — and — being 
here in my room — although no doubt you have a good 
reason for being here — that is — I mean — 

Millicent — Don't try to apologize. I believe what 
you say, although you can readily understand that it 
doesn't make the situation any more pleasant for me. 
(Starts toivard door.) 

Murry — Please don't go like this. I feel like a brute. 
Let me be of some assistance to you. Is there anyone I 
can find for you? Anything I can do? 

Millicent — Nothing at all, Mr. Wescott. 

Murry — (surprised) You know who I am? Say, 
this isn't fair. Tell me who you are and let me atone for 
my unfortunate mistake. 

Millicent — (from door c) If you feel that it is un- 
fortunate, how do you suppose I feel about it? (exit c.) 

Murry — (hurrying to door) Just a minute, please. 
(stands by door for a second — walks slowly down room) 
My gosh I What a mess ! (ivalks up and doivn room a 
couple of times, turns abruptly, exits, c. Anderson Doub- 
lin knocks at door c — pause — he enters, looks about room, 



Polly Lou 11 

consults a slip of paper, goes to door, looks at number on 
door, walks back into room, takes a book from table and 
loses it ds a pad while he makes some notes.) 

Joe Greene — ( outside jWiWiard I 

Doublin gives a quick glance about room, steps 
into windoiv curtain.) 

Joe — (speaking as he enters) You will have to have 
a heart. I have tried to borrow — (stops abruptly) No- 
body home! (laughs, goes quickly to chiffonier, kneels 
and opens loiver drawer.) 

Mrs. B. — (outside) Millicent! (comes to door c) 
(Joe gives a gasp, closes drawer, crawls quickly under, 
couch.) Well, dear me ! (enters and looks about in sur- 
prise. Millicent runs in c. She is very much upset) Oh, 
there you are! Where — 

Millicent — Auntie, promise me that you will never 
tell as long as you live that I came here today. It's vit- 
ally important! There isn't a soul on earth that must 
know it. I can't stay here another minute. I will go 
down to the Crofton and wait for you in the reception 
room. Promise me that you won't mention my name to 
a living soul. 

Mrs. B.— (disgusted) Yes, Til promise and I guess 
the next time I want aid or sympathy in time of trouble, 
I won't telegraph for you to come to me. (Sits doivn and 
takes up her smelling salts.) 

Millicent — Oh, Auntie, I'm so sorry, but must you 
stay here any longer? 

Mrs. B. — I certainly must. Run along and don't 
mind me. (With the air of a martyr) It doesn't in the 
least matter about me. I shall survive some way. I 
found an obliging young man who has gone to look for 
Williard. I must say it is very queer for you to act so. 
I thought you knew a number of Harvard boys. I should 
think it would be real pleasant for you to look them up. 

Millicent — Look them up! I only hope I shall not 
be unfortunate enough to meet any of them. I must go ! 
Auntie, I will wait for you until the crack of doom if 
necessary, but not in this house. (Exits c.) 



12 Polly Lou 

(Mrs, B, draws a long sigh and applies her salts, 
Murry enters c. He regards her in astonishment, 
rubs his eyes, looks at her again,) 

Murry^— (steps forward uncertainly) I beg your 
pardon — 

Mrs, B. — (with dignity) How do you do? Who are 
you, young man? 

Murry — (confused) I'm — I'm — why, I am Murry 
Wescott. 

Mrs. B. — (rises) I am pleased to meet you. I am 
Williard's mother. 

Murry — (hurries forward and shakes hands) Is 
that so? I am delighted to see you, Mrs. Bailey. Wil- 
liard didn't know that you were coming, did he? 

Mrs. B. — No. 

Murry — That's what I thought. It's too bad you 
didn't let him know. He has gone out of town, Mrs. 
Bailey. 

Mrs. B. — (sinks into chair) Out of town? Hand 
me my bag please. (Murry looks about.) On the table. 
I am quite upset. (Murry hands her the bag. She opens 
it and takes out a powder) I will take a powder. Give 
me some water. (Murry gives her glass of tvater. She 
takes the powder.) Thank you. Where — where has my 
son gone? 

Murry — I haven't the least idea. 

Mrs. B.— Well, who has? 

Murry — I don't believe anyone has. He would be 
likely to tell me if he was going to tell at all. 

Mrs. B. — Is he in the habit of going away secretly? 

Murry — Why, he didn't go away secretly. He merely 
didn't mention where he was going. 

Mrs. B. — The same thing! I am crushed! Crushed! 
I know why he has gone, if not where. Mr. Wescott, you 
and my son are good friends? 

Murry — (heartily) We certainly are, Mrs. Bailey. 
I don't believe there could be better. 

Mrs, B. — Then I appeal to you to help me save my 
son. 



Polly Lou 13 

Murry — (astonished) Save him! 

Mrs. B. — Yes. 

Murry — From what? 

Mrs. B. — Has he told you anything about his trip 
to Springfield? 

Murry — Springfield? Last Friday? 

Mrs. B. — Yes. 

Murry — Why, Arnold Jarvis has been in the hospit- 
al. He was sent home that day and Williard went with 
him. That is all I know. 

Mrs. B. — (tragically) My son — my son, Williard 
Bailey, was at the Conklin that night with a girl by the 
name of Folly Lou. Did you ever hear Williard mention 
her? 

Murry — Never. But don't you worry, Mrs. Bailey, 
Wil is the best ever and any girl he associates with is 
the best ever and — 

Mrs. B. — (interrupting) She must be. At a place 
like that! 

Murry — Well, I don't know anything about the ho- 
tel, but— I 

Mrs. B. — It was raided that night by the police. 
Several kinds of gambling games were being played 
there. Everyone who was in the hotel at the time will 
be brought into court. This paper gives all their names. 
(Takes a neivspaper from her bag) Think of it! My son! 

Murry — What paper is that? (takes it) Oh, a 
Springfield paper, (looks it over) 

Mrs. B. — I haven't as yet seen it. in a Boston or New 
York paper. I buy every edition of every paper. It 
takes about five hours a day to read them through. 

Murry — Good Lord! I should think it might. How 
did you happen to see this Springfield paper? 

Mrs, B. — I have a second cousin living there. She 
sent it to me. 

Murry — That was real thoughtful of her, I'm sure. 
Well, now, Mrs. Bailey, I don't believe there is anything 
to this, although of course it doesn't sound very well. It 
seems that Wil was having supper — 



U Polly Lou 

Mrs, 15.— With a girl by the name of Polly Lou, Who 
is Polly Lou? 

Murry — (still looking over the paper) Well, of 
course we don't know that. Wil had sense enough not to 
mention Harvard. 

Mrs, B. — Well, he mentioned his home town! Oh, 
the disgrace of it. 

Murry — Pardon me, Mrs. Bailey, but he had a great 
deal better mention his home than his college. 

Mrs. B. — Mr. Wescott ! You surprise me. 

Murry — If he had mentioned Harvard, the Boston 
papers would have had it before this, and I have never 
yet heard of a case where the faculty was pleased with 
the idea of a student mixing himself in an affair which 
landed him in court. 

Mrs. B. — Merciful heavens! Do you see my salts? 
I hadn't thought of that. 

Murry — (finds her smelling salts and hands them to 
her) A fellow may be as innocent as a little lamb, but 
it is usually mighty hard to prove it. Fortunately this 
didn't happen in Boston and the chances are ten to one 
that Boston will never know anything about it. It is 
more than likely that Wil has gone out to Springfield to- 
day to see what he can do about quieting the thing up. 

Mrs. B. — But I don't know that, do I ? And how am 
I going to see him when I don't know where he is? 

Murry — He is going to be at Silverton tomorrow 
night. 

Mrs. B.—Re is? That settles it. I will go to Sil- 
verton today. My niece, Miss MiWicent Curtis — (sud- 
denly remembers) is — er — a senior there. 

Murry — Yes, I know. 

Mrs. B. — I'm going to settle this affair and I will 
settle Williard, too. I'll know who this girl is, and the 
whole story before I get through, and you are going to 
help me, Mr. Wescott. 

Mwrri/— Really, Mrs. Bailey, Wil won't thank me 
for meddling in his affairs. 



Polly Lou 15 

Mrs. B. — And he won't thank me, I dare say, but we 
are going to do it just the same. I want you to come to 
Silverton tomorrow afternoon. 

Murry — I was going anyway, Mrs. Bailey. My sis- 
ter is there this year and a number of us are going up to 
a party. I can't help thinking that you are upset over 
a trifle. ' 

Mrs. B. — A trifle? A trifle? You surprise me ex- 
ceedingly, Mr. Wescott. If you understood how my hus- 
band would look upon this affair you wouldn't think it 
would be any trifle for Williard. 

Murry — (in despair) Are you going to Silverton 
right now? 

Mrs. B. — After I have called at the Crofton for a — 
a — parcel that I — that they are keeping — I mean that I 
left there — er — I mean — I — er — mean — dear me! I am 
fearfully upset. 

Murry — Would you like to have me go to the train 
with you? 

Mrs. B. — Oh, no! No, indeed! You are very kind 
but I shall get to the train all right, (rises and prepares 
to go.) Perhaps before I go, I had better take my drops. 
(opens bag and takes out small bottle.) Give me some 
more water please. (Murry pours some water. She drops 
n little medicine into glass and takes it.) It's best to be 
on the safe side. I would rather take this and not need 
it than to not take it and need it, 

Murry— I will walk down to the Crofton with you. 

Mrs. B. — Very well. 

(Exeunt c) 
(Pause — Joe looks out from under couch, cau- 
tiously crawls out. Doublin comes from curtain and 
stumbles over Joe.) 

Joe — (plaintively) Oh, say, look where you're go- 
ing! Don't you see I'm here? 

Anderson Doublin — (regaining his balance ivith dif- 
ficulty) Ye gods! What have I stepped on? 

Joe — (sittiyig on floor and holding one foot) Me! 

Anderson — (in astonishment) Joe Green! 



X^ Polly Lou -^^3.^-- 

Joe — (looking up surprised) Well, if it isn't Andjr 
Doublin! Will wonders never cease? 

Anderson — What on earth are you doing? This isn't 
your room, is it? 

Joe — (rising) Alas, no! I can not boast of such 
elegance. I was just putting into practice a golden text 
learned in my early youth (chuckles) "The Lord Helps 
Those Who Help Themselves." (Goes to drawer and op- 
ens it) Alas ! Not a blessed one, and Wescott is four 
times my size. Nothing doing. 

Anderson — You haven't changed any, Joe. Just as 
nutty as ever. 

Joe — (cheerfully) Just exactly. Tell me, dear 
friend, what brings you into our midst? (Shakes hands 
with him.) 

Anderson — Looking for a chap that I have to write 
up. 

Joe — You are still on the Springfield Star? 

Anderson — Sure thing. I have been promoted again. 
I have a corking job, Joe. 

Joe — (heartily) Good work! I am more than glad 
to hear it. Gee ! But it's good to see you. What a howl- 
ing shame it is that you couldn't come here with me. 

Anderson — It would have been great, Joe. I would. 
have enjoyed every minute, but it was no use to think 
about it. Even if I could have worked my way through 
it wouldn't have been fair. My mother worked all the 
time I was going to High School and it was time she was 
on Easy street. Say, Joe, isn't Williard Bailey your 
cousin? 

Joe — Guilty. 

Anderson — He is the chap I am after. 

Joe — Oh, I see, the affair at the Conklin. (laughs.) 
Dear Aunt Annie is after him, too. 

Anderson — Why, she is your aunt, isn't she? And 
the young lady — (hesitates.) 

Joe — My cousin. I don't know just what she has 
been up to but she seemed to have an awful fear of dis- 
covery. 



Polly Lou It 

Anderson— "R^M^ you any idea where Bailey has 
gone? 

Joe— Not the slightest. He made a quick get-away. 
He was here less than half an hour ago. 

Anderson— I have no idea which direction to start. 
I have been sent after him and I can't return without 
my story. 

Joe— You can land him at Silverton tomorrow night. 

Anderson— Dimcult. Social affair in a select finisn- 
ing school. Very exclusive. They don't welcome re- 
porters. 

Joe— Better make a try. I'm going up. We will 
have a regular family reunion. 

Anderson— You are going? Say, Joe, could you get 
me in? Socially, I mean. 

Joe— Well, let me see. Have you an extra shirt 
along with you? 

Anderso7ir— (surprised) Why, of course. Four I 
believe. ' 

Joe — All clean? 

Anderson — Why, certainly. 

Joe— (with a sigh) I didn't know there was so much 
happiness in the world. I'll take you. 

Anderson— (excited) To Silverton? 

Joe — To heaven if you want to go. 

Anderson — How are you going to manage it? 

Joe — I don't know. Give me a second or so. This 
is so very sudden. 

Anderson — If I could be an unexpected cousin or 
something. 

Joe— You can! You have hit it right on the head, 
old chap. 

Anderson — I have? 

Joe— You certainly have. There is a branch of our 
family living out West. Williard's mother's brother— 

Anderson — Wait a minute! Wait a minute! Wil- 
liard's mother's brother. Yes, I guess I get you. Go on. 



18 Polly Lou 

Joe — There's a son about — well, er — I guess a year 
or two older than you, but what's a little thing like that 
when a human soul's in peril ? 

Anderson — Say, talk sense if you possibly can. I 
want to get what you are driving at. This isn't any 
trifling mittle latter. 

Joe — (holding his head) And you make yourself so 
clear. Well, listen. My cousin's name is Cedric An- 
struthers. He is a cow puncher, I believe, and he was 
named for Little Lord Fauntleroy. 

Anderson — Say, this is where you get off. What do 
you take me for? 

Joe — Straight goods, every word of it. He was a 
golden haired little Percy in his youth, but the family 
went out West on a ranch and he's developed into the 
deuce of a fellow, if all accounts are true. My father is 
the only one in the family who has seen him since he 
grew up. He wrote to Williard a short time ago tha" he 
was coming east. I will take you up to Silverton and 
present you to Millicent and Williard as our cousin Ced- 
ric Anstruthers. 

Anderson — Sounds dangerous. They will have to 
know the truth some day. 

Joe — I should worry. Milly is a darned good sport 
and as for Williard — I told him he would live to repent. 

Anderson — For what? 

Joe — (dramatically) He refused to lend me a shirt! 

Anderson — Joe, you're the limit. No doubt you would 
carry out your part of the program, and of course I 
ought to take any kind of a chance to get my story, but 
I wonder if I could get away with it. I was never out 
West. 

Joe — Oh, don't let that worry you. I tell you what. 
We will go in town to the theater tonight. There's a 
stock house playing "Johnny Get Your Gun." All about 
a Western chap that came east to visit his relatives. 
Billy Dawson saw it and he says it's some show. You 
can study the hero, and then you will know just how to 
act up at Silverton. Where did you leave your trunk? 



Polly Lou 19 

Anderson — (laughing) My suit case is down at 
the Crofton. 

Joe — Trot along after it. I've got to have a shirt. 
We can have supper in town, if you've got any money 
to pay for it. 

Anderson — I'll blow you to a supper, Joe, but 
(doubtfully) I don't know about the rest of the program. 
Joe — Don't I always land on my feet? 
Anderson — You certainly do. 

Joe — Trust yourself to me and I'll land you on 
your feet.. 

Anderson — You almost make me believe you could. 
I — I — guess I'll take a chance. 

Joe — Spoken like the hero you have always proved 
yourself to be. Say, I bet you'll be the most popular 
thing in Silverton. 

Anderson — Oh, leave it to me! Once started I'll 
see it through. I wish it was tonight. I don't like the 
wait before the curtain goes up. 

Joe — But great heavens, man, you need time to re- 
hearse. 

Anderson — Well, I'll hustle down to the Crofton and 
get my case — and we'll hustle in to supper, and hustle to 
the show, and I'll find plenty to hustle about tomorrow. 
I don't want one minute to think before we start. If I 
take any time to think, I'll never go. (Exit c.) 

Joe — (calling after him) You'll go all right. Leave 
it to me. 

(Joe closes drawer of chiffonier which he left 
open. There is a knock at the door. Joe is startled, 
looks toward door uncertainly. June Wescott opens 
door and enters. She wears a blue coat, large hat 
and heavy veil. Joe looks at her in astonishment for 
a moment and suddenly makes a grab for a chair and 
begins to dust it ivith a handkerchief which he takes 
from pocket of his bath robe.) 

June — (suddenly discovers Joe — is surprised and a 
trifle coyifused) Why — you — you are d-d-dusting, aren't 
you? (June has a small book in her hand.) 



20 Polly Lou 

Joe — Yes, ma'am. 

June — You work here? 

Joe — ^Yes ma'am. 

June — (taking a coin from her pockethook and hands 
it to Green) Will you do something for me? 

Joe — Thanks, ma'am. I should be delighted to. 

June — Do you know where Mr. Bailey is? 

Joe — No, ma'am. 

June — Could you find anyone who does? 

Joe — I could try. 

June — I want Mr. Bailey to come to this room just 
as quick as he can get here. 

Joe — I will see what I can do for you. (Exit c.) 
(June looks about uneasily. Millicent enters c 
cautiously, looks at June a minute in astonishment.) 

Millicent — June Wescott, what are you doing here? 

June — Hush, for heaven's sake! Don't speak my 
name, Milly. 

Millicent — Don't speak mine, either. I'm in such a 
mess. 

June — I don't believe it's a patch on the one I am in. 

Millicent — My aunt isn't here? 

June — I haven't seen anyone except a fellow who 
was cleaning up the room. 

Millicent — Well, then I must run back to the Crof- 
ton as fast as I can go. I was waiting there for my aunt 
and I got so nervous I thought I should die. This day 
will certainly land me in the insane asylum. Promise me 
on your honor that you won't mention having seen me 
here. 

June — If you won't mention having seen me. 

Millicent — It's a bargain. Absolutely no one. Not 
even your brother. 

June — I sha'n't see my brother. 

Millicent — (surprised) Why, what do you mean? 
Aren't you waiting for him? 

June — Waiting for him! Why I don't — (suddenly 
stops and looks at Millicent) Milly Curtis, this isn't my 
brother's room? 



Polly Lou 21 

Millicent— Why of course it is. Your brother's and 
my cousin's. Where did you think you were? 

June— I— I didn't know. Merciful heaven ! If Mur- 
ry should come in. 

MilUcent— But, June, if you didn't think this was 
your brother's room, what in the world were you doing— 

June— (interrupting) Oh, Milly, don't ask me any 
questions. I can't tell you. Perhaps some time. I'm 
nearly wild. 

Millicent— Well— a\\ right. I'll see you tonight— 
that is if you're going back tonight. 

June — Of course I am! 

(Millicent exits, c— slight pause— Joe Green 
enters c 

Joe— Mr. Bailey is out of town. I don't believe any- 
one knows exactly where he has gone. 

June — Over night? 

Joe — Yes, ma'am. 

Jime — Oh, dear! Dear! 

Joe — I could find Mr. Wescott if that would help you. 

june—(tvildly) Oh, no! no! Just as soon as Mr. 
Bailey returns, will you give him a message for me? 
- Joe — Certainly, ma'am. 

June — And you won't give the message to anyone 
else? 

Joe — Certainly not. 

June — (glances towards door and speaks in lower 
tone of voice) Tell him Polly Lou has been here and to 
communicate with me at once. You can remember? 

Joe — Trust me, ma'am. 

June— Th&nk you. (Exit c.) 

Joe— (walks to door, looks after her) Polly Lou! 
Well, wouldn't that startle you ! (suddenly stoops and 
picks up a small fancy pin — examines it, fastens it in 
bathrobe. Exit, c. Slight pause— Wescott enters c— 
sits at table, starts to vjrite. Cedric Anstruthers knocks 
at door c.) 

Murry — Come in. 



22 Polly Lou 

(Anstruthers enters. He is tall, of light com^ 
plexion, and has an affected way of speaking, some- 
what on the chappy style.) 

Cedric — Pardon me, is this Williard Bailey's room? 

Murry — (rising) Bailey is my room mate. 

Cedric — Ah, I see. And he is not in, I perceive. 

Murry — He has gone out of town. 

Cedric — Over night? 

Murry — Yes. 

Cedric — Well, that is indeed unfortunate. My name 
is Cedric Anstruthers. I am Williard's cousin. 

Murry — Oh, yes. I'm glad to see you. (They shake 
hands.) Wil spolce of you. Said you were coming on to 
visit him. He didn't expect you today, did he? 

Cedric — No. I couldn't tell him just when I was 
coming. I wasn't sure myself, don't you know. 

Murry — Well, I shall be very glad to entertain you 
until — 

Cedric — Oh, not at all, although that's deucedly kind 
of you. I am going up to Silverton tomorrow afternoon 
and — 

Murry — Well, that will be all right. Wil is going to 
Silverton tomorrow. 

Cedric — Then I can return with him. I want to 
look Harvard over, don't you know. In the meantime I 
am staying at the Touraine with a friend of mine — a 
Lord Hollingsford, don't you know. So I do not need to 
trouble anyone. 

Murry — It would have been no trouble, I assure you. 
I shall see you at Silverton tomorrow night, Mr. An- 
struthers. 

Cedric — Indeed? That will be jolly. (Shakes hands 
with Murry. Exits c.) Good afternoon. 

Murry — See you later. 

(Chester Warren hurries in c.) 

Chester — Wes, I left a book — (goes to table) what 
have you done with it? 

Murry — With what? 

Chester — (impatiently) A book I left on the table. 



Polly Lou 23 

Murry — I haven't seen it. 

Chester— Why, you must have. Now, think. You 
must have moved it without reah'zing what you were 
doing. 

Murry — x am in my right mind thank you. I hope 
you are well worked up over a book. What was it? 

Chester — "The Merchant of Venice." 

Miirry — Good Lord ! Take mine. I don't need it un- 
til tomorrow morning. 

Chester — That isn't the idea. I — I — put something 
in the front of the book. fGroics more excited every 
minute.) Wes, I must find that book. I shall go crazy 
if it's lost. 

Murry — What on earth did you put in the book? 

Chester — What do you suppose? My lunch? It was 
a letter! And, Wes, that letter can't be made public. 
Now get busy. (Begins a icild search about the room.) 

Murry — I am positive, Chester, that I couldn't 
{thoughtfully ) have touched your book. There hasn't 
been any possible time that I could have done it. 

Chester — Who has been in your room since I was 
here? 

Murry — ( cautiously ) Why — er— Williard's mother 
was here. 

Chester — (surprised) She was? 

Murry — Yes. I walked down to the Crofton with 
her and she certainly didn't have your book unless it 
was up her sleeve or down her neck. 

Chester — It isn't anything to joke about. There may 
have been a dozen in here and how in heaven's name am 
I going to find out who, or where they have gone? Do 
you know of anyone else who has been here? 

Murry — Williard's cousin from out West appeared on 
the scene. He just barely came into the room so he is 
out of the question. And there was a — a girl here. 

Chester— (at the top of his voice j A girl? 

Murry— Why don't you tell the entire college? 

Chester— What did she say? ^Vhat about her? 



2Jt. Polly Lou 

Murry — There isn't anything to tell you, Chester. 
She was — er — er — upset because I found her here. She 
had on a heavy veil and she didn't give any name or say 
why she was here. She acted rather odd. 

Chester — She came for that letter and she has got it. 

Murry — Why didn't she go to your room for it? 

Chester — Perhaps she did. How can we tell? 

Murry — (thoughtfully) Why don't you tell me 
what's going on, Chester? 

Chester — I can't old man. I'm sorry. Perhaps some 
time. 

Murry — Well, I hope you and Wil have grown se- 
cretive all of a sudden. I can't do much for you if you 
keep me in the dark. Haven't you any idea who the 
young lady was? 

Chester — No. If I only had! I wonder what I had 
better do next. 

Murray — You can search me. Consult a specialist 
on brain diseases, I should say. You jump at the idea 
of a young lady coming in here and stealing a letter, and 
yet you haven't the slightest idea who she is. 

Chester — Does sound dippy, but it's the truth. I 
can't stir up any excitement by asking if any of the other 
fellows saw her and — 

Murry — (interrupting) No, I guess it would be 
just as well if you didn't do any talking. (Joe Green 
enters c) For heaven's sake, Green, haven't you landed 
a shirt yet? 

Joe — I have, but it hasn't arrived. 

Chester — See here, Joe! Did you come back here 
after we went out? 

Joe — I did. 
Murry and Chester — (together) You did? 

Joe — More chorus work. You fellows really should 
join an opera company. I am glad mine is a solo part. 
(Sings, going up the scale.) I did ! I did ! I did ! 

Murry — Shut up! 

Chester — Did you take a book off that table? 



V 



Polly Lou 25 

Joe — Not on your tintype. There's enough books in 
my room. I didn't want a book. I wanted a shirt. 

Murry — What were you doing in here? 

Joe — Playing Ping Pong. 

Chester — Now that will do. You are going to talk 
sense for once in your life. Did you see anyone — anyone 
— well — er — out of the ordinary in this room or in the 
hall? 

Joe — (hesitates for a moment) I don't know what 
you are driving at, but you look as if it was a matter of 
life and death. I saw a young lady. 

Murry and Chester — (together) You did? 

Joe — (singing again) I did! I did! I did! 

Chester — (furiously) Cut it out! What did she look 
like? 

Joe — I haven't the least idea. 

Murry — Did she have on a blue coat, large hat, 
heavy veil? 

Joe — Yes. 

Murry — (to Chester) She's the one I saw. 

Chester — (to Joe) Did she say anything to you? 

Joe — She did. 

Chester — What did she say? 

Joe — That, my friend, is no concern of yours. 

Chester — (very much excited) Yes, it is, and you are 
going to tell what she said. 

Joe — (to Murry) Say, what's the matter with him? 

Murry — I couldn't tell you, I'm sure, but I think if 
you know anything at all about this young lady who has 
been here, you had better tell us. Some rather odd things 
have happened and we would like to throw a little light 
on at least one or two of them. 

Joe — (speaking seriously) There isn't anything I 
can tell. She came here and mistook me for a servant 
and asked me to give a message to someone. I promised 
not to tell the message to anyone but the person it is in- 
tended for. 

Chester — Did she give her name? 

Joe — Yes. 



26 Polly Lou 

Chester — (excited) She did? 

Murry — (eagerly) Did you promise not to tell that? 

Joe— (thoughtfully) N-N-No, I don't believe I did. 

Murry — Then, for heaven's sake, tell us! 

Joe — Polly Lou. 

Murry — (greatly excited) Polly Lou? 

Chester — Well, who's excited now? What do you 
know about her? 

Murry — I can't tell you. 

Chester — Well, I'll be — say, you'll have to tell me 
what you know ! 

Murry — Is that so? I haven't heard you revealing- 
any secrets. 

Chester — (to Joe) I don't suppose you noticed if 
she had a book of any kind with her? 

Joe — Yes, she did. She had a copy of "The Mer- 
chant of Venice" in her hand. 

Chester — And took it with her? 

Joe — Why, sure! 

Chester — Oh, my gosh! Wes, you will have to tell 
me what you know. 

Murry — Warren, I give you my word I don't know 
one thing that would help you the least bit. I have heard 
her name before but in connection with someone else. 

Chester — Haven't you the least idea how to trace 
her? 

Murry — No, I would start so sudden your head 
would swim if I did have, (turns to Joe) She didn't 
give a hint as to where she came from? If you know, 
Joe, it is really your duty to tell us. 

Joe — She didn't say a word about where she was 
from or where she was going. Since you fellows are in 
such distress of mind, you might take a look at this. 
(takes pin from his bath robe and hands it to Murri^ 
Chester looks over Murry^s shoulder and they examine it 
eagerly.) I found it on the floor near the door. I thought 
it was most likely hers. 

Chester — (suddenly) Wes, it's the 0. D. Club pin of 
Silverton. She's from Silverton. 



Polly Lou 27 

Murry^f astounded) Ye gods! Silverton! 

Chester — Well, believe me, there will be something 
doing up there tomorrow night. 

Mi^rri/— Righto ! There will be a real interesting 
time in Silverton tomorrow evening. 

Joe — Interesting doesn't begin to express it. There's 
going to be a whale of a time. 

CURTAIN. 



ACT II. 

Late afternoon. Tea room in Woodstock Inn, 
Silverton Village. The same setting may be used—= 
^ exits right, left and center. Rustic furnishings, 
small tables and chairs, serving table left front, a 
small table for cashier near center exit. There is 
a telephone on this table and souvenirs and postal 
cards for sale. Willow blue china is used and each 
table has a blue and white center piece, a small vase 
of blue flowers, paper napkins in blue and white. 
The waitress and cashier wear blue dresses, white 
aprons and white pointed caps. As curtain rises 
Inez sits back of table center. Muriel stands in door- 
way center looking out. 

Inez — (yawns and stretches arms above head) With- 
out question this is the dullest afternoon I ever spent. 

Muriel — Ain't it the limit? (looks right and left) 
And not a soul in sight. Where on earth is everybody? 
Inez — Well, there is a party up to the seminary to- 
night. Probably the girls are busy. 

Muriel — Well, that ain't keepin' the auto parties 
from passing this way. 

Inez — No. That's right. Perhaps it's the calm be- 
fore the storm. 

(Anderson Doublin and Joe Green rush in c.) 
Joe — (has a small book in his hand — gives a quick 
look about room — rushes to table where Inez sits) Girlie, 
is there a drawer in that table ? 



28 Polly Lou 

Inez — (astonished) Yes, sir. 

Joe — (leans over table and opens drawer and puts 
hook in) Mum's the word! 

Anderson — (takes roll of bills from his pocket and 
throws one on the table) Get the idea? 

Joe — Don't faint. He can stand it. He owns a gold 
mine in the Klondike, (grabs Anderson and pulls him to 
one of the tables) 

Anderson — We'll have ham and eggs, dearie, (smiles 
at MurieU 

Muriel — (in astonishment) Why we ain't — we don't 
— we haven't — 

Anderson — Go on! You're doing fine. 

Muriel — (confused) But we don't — we haven't — I 
mean the dining room is on the other side of the build- 
ing, (points left) You can go through this way. 

Anderson — And what kind of a joint is this? 

Muriel — (with a gasp) Joint? 

Joe — Don't mind Mr. Anstruthers. He has just ar- 
rived here from the West. He hasn't been in this part of 
the country since he was a little chap and he has forgot- 
ten how to be civilized. 

Muriel — Oh, ain't that interesting? 

Anderson — It is, very. Joe, why did you steer for 
the ice cream saloon? I want real goods when I eat. 

Joe — Soft pedal, Ceddie. This is a tea room. 

Anderson — A which? 

Joe — A place for small talk and afternoon tea. 

Anderson — -^mall talk and — gorry mighty! (to 
Muriel) Bring me the whole layout. Whatever it is. 

Muriel — (doubtfully) You want tea, sir? 

Anderson — You bet I do. I'm going to see civiliza- 
tion for once. 

Muriel — Yes, sir. (gives Inez a look and exits r) 

Anderson-^(in a quick undertone to Joe) How's it 
going? 

Joe — Rattling. You have that chap we saw last 
night beaten a mile. 



Polly Lou 29 

Anderson — But wait until I see someone who really 
counts. 

Joe — Hang onto your nerve and also Warren's let- 
ter. 

Anderson — (feeling in an inside pocket) Leave that 
to me. 

(Mrs. Bailey and Milly enter I) 

Joe — Aunt Annie, as I live! And Milly! (rushes 
forward and shakes hands) 

Mrs. B. — Well, dear me, Joseph, is it you? 

Joe — Sure thing, and — (turns to Anderson) You 
couldn't guess in a hundred years who this is. Cedric 
Anstruthers! What do you know about that? 

Millicent — Not really. 

Mrs. B. — Richard's son? 

Anderson — Yes, ma'am. That's me. 

Mrs. B. — Well, how surprising! When did you ar- 
rive? (shakes hands with him) 

Anderson — (grabs her hand and pumps it up and 
down) Just blew in, ma'am. 

Mrs. B.^— (regards him in astonishment) Dear me! 
I — I — (looks about vaguely) 

Millicent — (pulling out a chair from a table) Sit 
here. Aunt Annie. 

Joe — What's the matter, Aunt Annie? 

Anderson — Are you faint, ma'am? (grabs his hat 
and fans her with it) Somebody get some water. 

Mrs. B. — No, give me my salts, Milly. (Milly opens 
bag and takes out smelling salts and hands them to her) 
We will have some tea. I am so upset all the time. 

(Muriel wheels a tea wagon in I.) 

Joe — Here comes our tea. 

Anderson — Great governor! On wheels! (to Mur- 
iel) Did you forget to sit on and ride yourself? You are 
wasting a little energy pushing that cart around. 

Joe — (to Muriel) Serve the ladies. You can bring 
us another order. 



so Potly Lou 

Anderson — Sure! (takes a cup from tray and 
starts toward Mrs. B. — turns hack to Muriel) Say! 
Look here! We didn't order lemonade, we ordered tea. 

Muriel — That is tea, sir. 

Anderson — It is? Well, what is this lemon doing in 
bathing ? 

Mrs. B.- — It is quite all right. I take lemon in my tea. 

Anderson — You do? (hands her the cup) Well, ev- 
erybody for their own taste. I never mix drinks. I take 
mine straight, (to Millicent) And how about you, cou- 
sin ? (Joe takes a plate of cakes from tray and begins to 
eat them) 

Millicent — Oh, I take lemon, too, Mr. — er — cousin — 
er — Cedric, isn't it? 

Anderson — Lord help me, yes! It's the correct han- 
dle, I guess. My friends have mercy enough to call me 
Andy, (hands Millicent a cup.) 

Millicent — Andy? Why, where do they make the 
connection ? 

Anderson — They don't make it. A little thing like 
that never worries the bunch, (to Muriel) Go ahead, 
girlie. Fill up the push cart again. (Muriel exits with 
tea wagon. Discovers Joe eating the cakes and takes the 
plate away from him) Say ! What do you think you are 
doing? I may not be civilized but I know enough to feed 
the ladies first. Here, ma'am, help yourself, (puts the 
cakes on table near Mrs. B.) 

Mrs. B. — (with a gasp puts her hand to her heart) 
Dear me! I feel that flutter. Milly, see if my heart 
tablets are in the bag. (Milly opens bag) Some water, 
please. 

Anderson — (goes to door r, sticks his head out and 
yells) Fire!! 

Mrs. B. — (stands up, puts her hand to her heart and 
drops down in chair.) 

Millicent — Mercy! (Joe sits down by a table and 
laughs, rocking himself hack and forth) Do you fancy 
that our cousin is funny? 

Joe— Cer-tain-ly n-n-not. 



Polly Lou 31 

(Muriel rushes in, r) 

Muriel — Oh, what is it? Is the place on fire? 

Millicent — (angrily) Of course it isn't. 

Muriel — Didn't someone holler fire? 

Anderson — Yes. I did. 

Muriel — What for? 

Anderson — Water. 

Muriel — (surprised) W-W-Water? 

Anderson — No, not w-w-water — just plain water. 
(spells on his fingers) W-a-t-e-r. Mrs. Bailey v/ants 
some water. (Muriel stands still looking at him in as- 
tonishment) 

Millicent — Don't pay any attention to him. Bring 
my aunt a glass of water. 

Muriel — (recovering) Yes, miss. 

(Anderson walks over to Inez and speaks to her. 
Muriel exits, r.) 

Millicent — (in quick aside to Mrs, Bj There is a 
private dining room up stairs. Let us ask for it. This 
place is so public, you know. 

Joe — (walking over to Millicent) Oh, come now, 
Milly, you are always a good sport. You shouldn't feel 
that way about your own cousin. 

Mrs. B. — But, Joseph, he is so impossible. I always 
thought you were bad enough, but if I do say it, you are 
a gentleman by the side of him. 

Joe — Oh, thanks, dear aunt. 

Mrs. B. — Well, shall we go upstairs? 

(Sylvia Warren, June Wescott, Helen Whitney, 
Frances Arnold enter, c. They loear golf clothes, 
carry golf sticks, which they leave near the cash- 
ier's table as they enter.) 

Millicent— Too late. Here are some of the girls. 

Sylvia — (walking forward) Girls, here's Milly 
(goes to Mrs. B.) How do you do, Mrs. Bailey? 

Mrs. B. — Oh, it's Miss Warren. I am glad to see 
you again, (shakes hands with her) 



32 Polly Lou 

Milly — Girls. (June, Helen and Frances valk for- 
ward) This is my aunt, Mrs. Eailey, Miss WViitney, 
Miss Arnold, Miss Wescott. ftfif,!] acknowledge the in- 
troductions. Milly introduces Helen arid France^' to Joe 
as June greets Mrs. B.) 

Mrs. B. — Miss Wescott, i had the pleasure of meet- 
ing your brother, yesterday. I was very favorably im- 
pressed with him I assure you. I believe he said he 
should be up here today. 

June — Yes, he is likely to arrive any minute. 

Millicent — June. (June tuims) Miss Wescott, my 
cousin, Mr. Greene. 

June — (gives a gasp of surprise as she recognizes 
Joe.) Why! 

Millicent — What is the matter, June? 

June — Why, nothing. (recovering and shaking 
hands with Joe.) I beg your pardon, Mr. Greene, I was 
so surprised for a second. You — you look so much like — 
like a cousin of mine. 

Millicent — (with a look of despair turn^ to Ander- 
son) And Cedric — (Anderson steps forivard) 

Anderson — Yes, ma'am, (girls all turn and look at 
him in surprise) 

Millicent — My cousin, Mr. Anstruthers. 

Anderson — Gorry mighty! Four at a lick! (shakes 
hands with the girls) I'm pleased to know yer. 

Millicent — My cousin arrived from the West unex- 
pectedly — 

Joe — Oh, no, he didn't. He wrote to Williard that he 
was coming. 

Millicent — Well, at least it was unexpected to me. 

Helen — And you will be here for the party tonight? 

Anderson — I should smile. 

Frances — Do you dance? 

Anderson — Lord love you, yes! 

Sylvia — Why, it happens just right, Milly. Frances 
invited a guest who sent word this morning he wouldn't 
be able to come. Mr. Anstruthers can fit right into his 
place. 



Polly Lou 3S 

Frances^-Yes. That will be great. 

(Girls look at Anderson with interest and ap- 
proval.) 

June — We even have the card made. 

Helen — All the best dancers in Silverton, Mr. An- 
struthers. 

Joe — Look here! Where do I come in? 

Anderson — It don't make no difference about you. 
(Muriel enters with tea ivagon) Here comes the drinks. 
(to Muriel) Say, girlie, bring in. all you got out there. 
This instalment plan is too slow, (helps Muriel take 
cups and cakes from tray) 

Sylvia — (watching him) What is he, Mrs. Bailey? 

Helen — (eagerly) A cow puncher? 

Mrs. B. — Merciful heaven! I don't know. He has 
lived on a ranch for years. I haven't seen him since he 
was three years old. 

Frances — Isn't he great? I have always wanted to 
meet a real Westerner. 

Millicent — You might not think it so funny if the 
curiosity was in your family. (Muriel exits with wagon 
Anderson turns to girls.) 

Anderson — Here you are, ladies. (Joe helps him 
serve the girls. Anstruthers enters, c — gives a look 
about the room, steps up to Inez and stands talking with 
her for a second) 

Joe — (grabbing for a cake) Say, give me a look in. 
I'll famish before we get our eats. 

Anderson — (pushing him away) Here. Keep your 
hands out of the hash. (Joe, eating the cake, walks over 
to where June sits a little aside from the others, with a 
cup of tea.) 

Joe — What made you think you had seen me before ? 

June — (taken by surprise) Why, I didn't — I — that 
is — didn't I tell you I thought you looked like my uncle? 

Joe — No, you said your cousin. 

June — (hastily) Yes, that's what I mean. 

Joe — ^Were you ever down to Harvard? (watching 
her closely.) 



3J^ Polly Lou 

June — No — ^yes — no — that is — I never visited Har- 
vard. Why in the world do you ask? 

Joe — Your brother is there, I wondered if you had 
ever been down. Do you belong to the 0. D. Club? 

June — ^Yes. 

Joe — Have you a pin ? 

June — Why, of course. Why do you ask? 

Joe — (carelessly) Oh, I just wanted to see one. 

June — I have mine on. (shows it to him) 

Joe — Oh! (looks a trifle disappointed then examines 
the pin) It's pretty, isn't it? 

June — Naturally I think so. (Inez and Anstruthers 
walk to door, I.) 

Inez — (opens door and speaks in a loud voice to at- 
tract attention) You can go right through this way, Mr. 
Anstruthers, and register at the office. If I see Mr. Bai- 
ley, I will tell him you are here. 

Cedric — Thanks, (exits, I, group around tables look 
toward the door in astonishment.) 

Inez — (excited) Did you hear? 

All—Yes. Well, rather! What did you mean? Who 
is that? 

Inez — He said his name is Anstruthers and he has 
come from the West. He said his cousin, Williard Bailey, 
was coming here and wanted to know if I had seen him. 

Joe — (first to recover) By Jove! An imposter. 

Anderson — (suddenly starting for door and reaching 
for his hip pocket) Say, I'll jest naturally let daylight 
into that chap. 

All-Oh, no! No! You mustn't. 

Mrs. B. — Mercy ! My tablets ! My salts ! A powder ! 

Joe — (rushes after Anderson and holds him back) 
Hold on. Don't do anything rash. 

Anderson — Do you think I am going to stand by and 
let that poor imitation of a human being use my name 
and relatives? 

June — But, Mr. Anstruthers, wouldn't it be better 
to wait and see if you can't find out why he is doing it? 



Polly L(m 35 

Joe'— (giving Anderson a look) Yes, wait a few min- 
utes and consider what it is best to do. 

Millicent — Why would anyone want to do a thing 
like that? He must know he would be found out. 

Joe — Yes, eventually. The fake Anstruthers would 
not count on meeting the real one up here. He could 
reasonably expect to have time to get away with — well, 
whatever he is up to. 

Helen — He's a poor imitation. Anyone could tell the 
minute he spoke that he wasn't from the West. 

Joe — Yes, that's right. It's really laughable, isn't 
it? 

Frances — He probably didn't notice us. Do you sup- 
pose he knows you when he sees you, Mrs. Bailey? 

Mrs. B. — Merciful heaven! I don't know. 

Frances — Why not go over on the other side of the 
building and see if we can't run into him. Just see what 
he does. 

Millicent— ThsiVs a good idea. Don't you think so, 
Cedric? 

Anderson — Gorry mighty, I don't know. I had my 
own idea but you checked that, so I'll follow anybody's 
lead. 

Joe — All right. Let's try it. (all rise.) What do 
you say, Aunt Annie? 

Mrs. B. — Dear me! I don't know. I'm all upset all 
the time. It might as well be one thing as another. Mil- 
ly, see that my things are all in my bag. I'm liable to 
need any of them any minute. 

(Milly gathers things up and puts them in bag. — 
The ladies exeunt, I. Anderson pulls Joe back as 
they are about to exeunt) 

Anderson — You are going on with this? 

Joe — We will have to. We can't back out now. We 
may pull it through without a clash. My cousin doesn't 
know one of us by sight. 

Anderson — Doesn't it beat the very Dutch he should 
show up here today? 



36 Polly Lou 

Joe — It sure does. You had better get busy and 
gather in what news you are after. 

Anderson — Fat chance. Mr. Bailey hasn't arrived 
yet. Come on. We'll be missed. 

(They exeunt, I Inez, who has been watching 
them, tvalks forward, opens door, looks after them, 
closes door, walks back to table, opens draiver and 
takes book out, examines it. Muriel enters ivith tea 
wagon.) 

Muriel — (looks about surprised) Why, where have 
they all gone? 

Inez — Over in some of the other rooms. Something 
queer has happened, Muriel. 
Muriel — They has? 

Inez — Another chap has come who says his name is 
Anstruthers and he's from out West. They've gone chas- 
ing after him to see what he's up to. 

Muriel — For goodness' sake, ain't that the limit? 

(Frances hurries in, I.) 
Frances — Inez, I want you to do something for me. 
Inez — Yes, Miss. 

Frances — This young man who was in here with us 
is not the real Anstruthers. I know who he is. His 
name is Doublin. I want you to watch him and let me 
know everything he does, and don't let on for a minute 
that you know he is faking. 

Inez — (ivith a gasp) Gracious! And the other one 
who came? Is he the real one? 

Frances — I am sure I don't know. If there is one 
fake, there might be two. He certainly didn't appear 
like a Westerner. 

Muriel — The other one does. 

Frances — Oh, Andy Doublin could get away with 
anything on earth that he undertook. Just watch. 
Watch them both, (exits, I, hurriedly) 
Muriel — Well, did you ever? 
Inez — No, never! 

(Warren and Wescott enter, c, carrying travel- 
ing bags) 



Polly Lou S7 

Chester — How are you Inez? How do you do, Mur- 
iel? 

Inez— (turns) Oh, it's Mr. Warren! And Mr. Wes- 
cott. (Murry nods to the girls.) 

Murry — Do you suppose we stand a chance for our 
regular room? 

Muriel — I think so, sir. 

Chester— (suddenly noticing the book in Inez's 
hand) For the love of Mike! Let me see that book. 
(he takes it away from her and examines it while she 
looks at him in astonishment) Wes, it's mine ! 

Murry — (surprised) It is? Are you sure? 

Chester — (opening cover and shoiving it to him) 
My name! (to Inez) Where did you get this? 

Inez — (confused and startled) Why — why — I — I — ■ 

Chester- — (sharply) That will do. Now you tell me 
a perfectly straight story or I shall be obliged to take 
this up with the manager. That book was stolen from 
my room and it had a very important letter in it. I must 
have the whole truth as to how you happen to have it. 

Inez — (indignantly) You haven't any right to talk 
to me like that, Mr. Warren. You certainly can't accuse 
me of stealing the book from your room. 

Murry — (quietly) Of course he doesn't. He simply 
wants to know who brought it up here. There is no sense 
in quarreling about the matter. 

Chester — Certainly not. I merely want Inez to tell 
me what she knows. I have been so wrought up over the 
loss of that letter that I am ready to fight with everyone. 
(turns to Inez) Will you kindly tell me where you found 
the book? 

Inez — (hesitates a second) In my table drawer. 

Chester — Of course I know belter than that. 

Inez — Oh, do you? Well, that's the truth. I opened 
my drawer a few minutes ago and the book was there. I 
had just taken it out to examine it when you came in. 
There wasn't any letter in it. 

Murry — When was the last time you opened the 
drawer before discovering the book? 



S8 Polly Lm 

Inez — I don't remember exactly. This noon, I guess. 
Murry — Then the book was put there this after- 
noon? 

Inez — Yes, sir. It must have been. 

Murry — Don't you sit at that table all the time? 

Inez — Nearly all the time. It's been dull this after- 
noon and I didn't have to. 

Chester — Who has been here this afternoon? 

Inez — Oh, I couldn't possibly say. Lots of folks. 

Murry — You said a minute ago that it had been dull 
this afternoon. Now you say lots of folks. 

Inez — Well, there has been. 

Muriel — We call it dull unless it's crowded. 

Murry — (gives Chester a look and speaks carelessly 
to Inez) Lot of young ladies from the seminary, I sup- 
pose? 

Inez — No, sir. There is a party up there tonight and 
I guess they are busy. Your sister was here and Mr. 
Warren's and Miss Arnold and Miss Whitney. 

Chester — (to Murry) Good Lord! Not a very large 
field. We ought to accomplish something. (Joe and An- 
derson enter, I.) 

Joe — Well, look who has arrived! Gentlemen, my 
cousin, Mr. Anstruthers. 

Chester — (stepping forward) Glad to meet you. 

Murry — Hold on. What are you up to now, Joe? 

Joe— Up to? 

Murry — That young man is not Mr. Anstruthers. 
(Bailey enters, c.) 

Joe — Well, where did you get so much valuable in- 
formation? 

Murry — Mr. Anstruthers was at Harvard yesterday. 
He came to see Williard and I talked with him. 

Joe — Tall? Light complexioned chappy boy? 

Murry — Well, yes, somewhat. 

Joe — So he fooled you, too? 

Murry — What do you mean? 

Joe — He is up here flourishing around and claiming 
he is Anstruthers. Big as life. 



Polly Lou gg 

Murry^{doubtfully) Well, you know, Joe, I can't 
trust you as long as I am turning around. 

Joe—Uow can you compliment me like that? Right 
to my face ! I feel so embarrassed. ^ 

Bailey—fwalking forward) Truth shouldn't prove 
embarrassing. You are just right, Wes. Go mighty 
careful where Joe is concerned, (they all turn.) 

Murry—l am glad you have come, Wil. Is this your 
cousin? (turns to Anderson) 

WiUiard-l certainly couldn't say. (to Anderson) 
lou claim to be my cousin? 

Anderson— GovTY mighty, no! I did, but I ain't 
fussy about it now. 

Joe— I don't blame you. You are having a fair sam- 
ple of eastern courtesy and hospitality. 

WilUard-Th^t is not fair, Joe, and you know it 
(to Anderson) If you are my cousin, I'm mighty glad to 
see you and you will find that I will do everything in my 
power to entertain you. (shakes hands with Anderson.) 
I will accept you as a relative now, but if I later find that 
the other man is my cousin, you and Joe will have some- 
thing to answer for. 

Murry—^i\ your mother is here. 

Williard— (astonished) My mother? Here? In 
Silverton, you mean? 

Joe— Even so. Right in this very hotel. I guess 

your^lf ^""^ ^'''' ^^""^ ^ ^'**^^ something to answer for 

Williard— What do you mean? 

^o.-Ask Mr. Wescott. He knows the whole story 
in all its tragic details. 

In. If^Kl^^' ^ ^^' ^"* I am at a loss to know where 
Joe obtained his information. Say, will you fellows all 
get out, please, and give me a chance to talk with Wil be- 
fore he sees his mother. 

4.U '^^fr^"^^* ^^ ^^" ^^ back and keep her on the 
other side of the house. 



40 Polly Lou 

Williard — Good. That's the first thing I ever heard 
you suggest that had any sense in it. You are improv- 
ing. 

Joe — Yes, mingling with you fellows is very bene- 
iicial. Come on, Ceddie. (Anderson and Joe exeunt, I.) 

Murry — (to Muriel) We will eat the cakes. We 
don't want the tea. (takes plate of cakes from wagon,) 
You can take the tea away. And — (turns to Inez and 
smiles) Couldn't you help her? If anyone comes in I 
will let you know. 

Inez — All right. (Inez and Muriel exeunt, I.) 

Chester — I'll go out and take a walk and if Wil 
knows anything about Polly Lou — if he is the person you 
referred to last night — you will let me in on this. I won't 
stand for anything else, (exit, c. Bailey looks after him 
in astonishment) 

Williard — What in the deuce does he mean? 

Murry — Here, sit down and be calm, (they sit at 
one of the tables,) 

Williard — But what does he know about Polly Lou? 
What does anyone know? What is my mother here for? 

Murry — I told you to be calm. Your mother had a 
Springfield newspaper sent to her by some relative living 
there. It had an account of the affair at the Conklin. 

Williard — Oh, ye gods ! And I've been out there and 
spent a day and a half quieting things up. 

Murry — I thought likely that was where you had 
gone. I did the best I could with your mother and she 
decided to come here. Then Polly Lou herself appeared 
on the scene. 

Williard — (jumping to his feet) What! 

Murry — Sit down. Don't tell the whole village. 

Williard — (dropping into chair) You mean to say 
that she — went — 

Murry — Yes, she did. She went to your room. I 
saw her but she didn't say anything to me about what 
she wanted, but she saw Joe and he says she thought he 
was a servant. I suppose she left some message for you. 
Joe wouldn't tell us. 



• Polly Lou J^l 

WilUardr— Oh, good heaven! All my efforts for 
nothing. She should have known I would try to shield 
her. 

Murry^Why, it's all right as far as she is con- 
cerned. She had on a heavy blue veil. We couldn't tell 
whether she was black or white. 

Williard— (relieved) Oh, that's different. What 
about Warren ? 

Murry—l don't know. He thinks she has an im- 
portant letter which belongs to him. He will kill you if 
you don't tell him who she really is. For I suppose Polly 
Lou is just a name she gave. 

Williard — Yes. She had a book she was studying on 
Political Economy and when I tipped her off not to give 
her name she wrote down Polly Con. They copied it 
Polly Lou. 

Murry—Yow will have to give Warren something 
more than that. 

Williard — I can't. It is all I know. 

Murry — You — you mean that you don't know who 
Polly Lou really is? 

Williard — E xactly . 

Murry — But how — where — why — 

Williard — For heaven's sake, don't ask embarrass- 
ing questions. 

Murry— No, I'll leave that for your mother. 

Williard — Oh, have a heart ! But it's an honest fact, 
Wes, that I don't know the girl or where she came from. 

Murry — I can enlighten you there. She is from Sil- 
verton. 

Williard— Whsitl How do you know? Did she say 
so? 

Murry — She did not. She was strangely secretive. 
She left an 0. D. Club pin on the floor of our room. We 
put two and two together. 

Williard — (softly) Will wonders never cease? I'll 
see her again! 

Murry— Sure. You can introduce her to your 
mother. 



42 Polly Lou , 

Williardr— Forget it, will you? (rises) I'll go and 
find my fond parent. I may as well face it one time as 
another. 

Murry — I'll go after Chester. Between him and your 
mother, I think you are in for it. (Anderson slips in 
door, c, kneels back of cashier's table) 

Williard — Cheerful cherub ! 

Murry — And what about this extra cousin from the 
West? 

Williard — Say, one at a time, please. 

Murry — I don't know about that. I think I had 
rather be killed outright than by degrees, (starts for 
door — looks back) Well, call on me if I can do anything 
to help. 

Williard — I sure will. 

(Murry exits, c. Bailey takes another cake from 
table, turns towards door, I, just as June enters) 

June — (stepping forward with a little cry) Oh, you 
have come! I'm so glad! 

Williard — (astonished) Polly Lou! 

Ju7ie — For goodness' sake hush! (gives a quick look 
right and left) Mr. Bailey, I am June Wescott. Your 
room mate is my brother. 

Williard — You are Murry's sister? 

June — Yes. Oh, Mr. Bailey, I am nearly crazy. I 
went to Harvard yesterday to see you. I took the chance. 

Williard — And your own brother didn't recognize 
you? 

June — I didn't see him. 

Williard — Why he said he saw you — ^that is — Polly 
Lou. 

June — It wasn't I. It must have been — (stops sud- 
denly) That is — I — er — it must have been someone else. 
For goodness' sake, don't talk about that. Do you know 
that affair at the Conklin has been in two or three news- 
papers ? 

Williard — Yes, small ones. 

June — ^Well, it will be in larger ones after they have 
dragged us into court. 



Polly Lou 43 

Williardr— They are not going to bring us in. I have 
been out there and fixed things up. 

June — You have? 

W^z7/iarc^— Certainly. Do you suppose I would leave 
any stone unturned to shield you? I think you are per- 
fectly safe. I don't believe anyone dreams that you are 
Polly Lou. 

June— Or ever will. Then there isn't so much to 
regret after all. 

Williard— There is nothing to regret. If things 
hadn't happened just as they did I should never have met 
Polly Lou. 

June— (laughs) Why yes, you would. Murry would 
have introduced us tonight. 

Williard— Well, I never thought of that. Say, why 
do you want to spoil a perfectly good romance. 

June— (softly) I don't want to spoil it. 

Williard— (joyously) Miss Wescott! 

(Mrs. B, enters, I.) 

June—(warningly) Your mother! 

Mrs. B.— Well, Williard! At last! 

Williard— (steps forward and greets his mother) 
Mother, it is a surprise to find you here. 

Mrs. B. — I dare say. 

June— If you will excuse me, I will see where my 
brother is. (Exit, I.) 

Williard— WeW, mother, shall we go up to your 
room? 

Mrs. B. — I see no necessity for going upstairs. 

Williard— ('pulling a chair forward) As you like. 
This seems rather public. (Mrs. B. takes chair— hands 
him her bag) 

Mrs. B.— See if my salts are in that bag. 

Williard— (opens bag) Wescott says you are upset 
over me. 

Mrs. B.— (dramatically) That doesn't express it! 
Williard— (impatiently) Is that what you want? 
(hands her the salts) 



H Polly Lou 



>. B. — Yes. Now you may tell me if you please — 
who is Polly Lou ? 

Williard — I can't tell you. 

Mrs. S.— Williard! 

Williard — Now mother, there is no earthly need of 
creating a scene over nothing. 

Mrs. B. — Nothing! Nothing! When you disgrace 
the family and allow the sickening details to be pub- 
lished in the newspapers. (Anderson, kneeling back of 
table makes note in a small book.) 

Williard — There won't be anything more in the 
newspapers. I have taken care of that. I will tell you 
just what happened if that will be any satisfaction to 
you. 

Mrs. B. — I shall be glad to listen. 

Williai^ — I went home with a sick friend. 

Mrs. B.—A sick friend! Really, Williard, I should 
think you could at least think up something original. 

Williard — You don't have to be original to tell the- 
truth. Coming home on the train something happened 
to delay us in Springfield. I left the train to take a walk,, 
a young lady did the same thing. When we went back 
the train had departed and left us. Under the circum- 
stances we naturally began to talk. There wasn't another 
train for two hours. She accepted my invitation to have 
some supper. We went to the Conklin and we hadn't 
been there more than fifteen minutes when things began 
to happen. Of course we didn't know that the hotel had 
an unpopular reputation. 

Mrs. B. — I guess she didn't worry about that or you 
either. A girl you would pick up and one who would al- 
low herself to be picked up and — 

Williard — Mother, you simply mustn't speak that 
way. She 'i out of a very fine family. 

Mrs. B.— What are they? Chinese? 

Williard — Chinese? 

Mrs. B. — Well, what kind of a name is Lou, pray telL. 

Williard — Oh, of course that isn't her real name. 

Mrs. B. — What is her name? 



Polly Lou 45 

Williard—1 certainly can not tell you. 

Mrs. 5.— Then you will tell your father. I came 
on here to see what I could do without letting John know 
anything about this. 

Williard— What is it you want to do? I quieted the 
thing up. 

Mrs. B.—As far as the public is concerned, perhaps, 
but not your family. Unless you tell me who the girl is 
and the truth about your acquaintance with her I shall 
let John investigate. 

Williard~I have told you an absolutely straight 
story. I can not bring the young lady into the matter 
again. 

Mrs. B.— (rising) We will see about that. 

Williard— (indignantly) What do you think I am"? 
A child? 

Mrs. B.—l wish you were. But you haven't grown 
so old but what your father has something to say about 
what you are up to. We will leave this to him. (exits, I, 
with dignity.) 

Williard— (takes a step after her) But, mother- 
ly f?«'ns back) Hang ! 

(Murry and Chester enter, c.) 

Murrij—WeW, how did you come out? Did you see 
your mother? 

Williard— You bet I did, and I haven't come out. I 
have gone farther in. 

Chester— Wi\, from the way Wes talks, I am sure 
you know who Polly Lou really is. Now you have got to 
tell me — 

Williard— (interrupting wrath fully) If anyone else 
says Polly Lou to me, I'll commit murder! (bangs door, 
I, open and exits) 

Chester— (starting after him) Now, you hold on! 

Murry— (grabs Chester and pulls him back) Hold 
on, yourself! That's no way to get around Williard and 
you ought to know it by this time. 

Chester— (desperately) But, Wes, I must get that 
letter, (Joe enters, c) If you only understood. 



46 Polly Lou 

Joe — (coming forward) And still he raves on. 

Chester — (turning) Joe, have you seen anyone who 
might possibly be the girl you talked with yesterday? 

Joe — Sure. 

Chester and Murry — (together) You have? Who? 

Joe — Ye gods ! The chorus again. Say. How do you 
get like that without any practice? 

Murry — Joe, will you please be serious for just a 
minute ? 

Joe — (his whole manner changing) Yes, I will. 
Any one of these young ladies here this afternoon might 
be the one I talked with yesterday. I started in to find 
out who had lost her club pin. 

Chester — Gee! I never thought of that. 

Joe — There are two or three things you haven't 
thought of. I don't call you exceptionally bright if you 
ask me. 

Murry — Thanks. We probably do appear dull in the 
face of your extreme brilliancy. What about the pins? 

Joe — Miss Arnold is wearing hers so I didn't ask 
any questions. I tried your sister and — 

Murry — My sister? You don't mean to suggest 
that my sister is Polly Lou? 

Joe — I'm not suggesting anything. I am merely try- 
ing to be a second cousin to Sherlock Holmes. 

Chester — And you aren't so bad at that. 

Joe — Oh, thanks! Well, Miss Wescott is wearing 
her pin. I haven't gone any further. I think you fel- 
lows better get busy. I can't possibly hope to go through 
the entire seminary this evening. 

Murry — No need of that. We are down to three. 
Miss Warren, Miss Whitney, Miss Curtis. It was a 
young lady who has been here this afternoon. 

Joe — Where do you get that? 

Murry — Warren's book has been found here this 
afternoon. Of course the letter is missing. 

Joe — ^You fellows would like a good tip wouldn't 
you? 

Murry — Tip? 



Polly Lou U7 

Joe — Yes, a tip as to how to proceed. 

Chester — We certainly would but I'm not sure about 
trusting any tip you would give, Joe. 

Murry — I don't know, Warren. I believe Joe is con- 
cealing something, 

Chester — (wrathfully) If you know anything about, 
riiy letter and — 

Joe — Soft pedal, Mr. Warren. I'll give you fellows 
a straight tip if you will stand by me. 

Murry — What do you mean? 

Joe — Williard is going to be ready to kill me in 
about — well, say five or ten minutes. I don't believe we 
can last much longer than that. When the smash comes 
I want you to stand by me. 

Murry — If you will really help us in any way, Joe,, 
I will take your side, no matter what you have done. 

Chester — Do you believe it's safe? 

Murry — I'll take the chance to find Polly Lou. I 
have a reason of my own. 

Joe — Well, you fellows are depending too much on 
circumstantial evidence. Now I can't come up straight 
and tell you all I believe, because I promised not to tell 
everything. But if you will use your brains a little you 
can figure it out for yourself. 

Murry — All right. Go ahead. 

Joe — Has it occurred to you that the pin didn't be- 
long to Polly Lou — that there might have been another 
Silverton girl at Harvard yesterday? 

Murry — In my room? Oh, come now — 

Joe — Ever notice that it is the truth that appears 
the most unlikely nine times out of ten? 

Chester — (astonished) But — who — why — what — 

Joe — It's perfectly simple who,why and what. Just 
you think awhile. I can't see for the life of me why Mr. 
Wescott didn't get it yesterday. Another thing — how 
can you be sure that a girl stole your letter? 

Chester — Well, because there is a motive and it ex- 
plains the presence of a young lady — 



48 PoUy Lou 

Joe — (interrupting) Circumstantial. You are on 
the wrong track. 

Murry — (suddenly) By Jove! Joe, were there two 
ladies in my room at any time that you know of? 

Joe — (laughs) Warmer, Mr. Wescott. 

Murry — You go ahead and find your letter, Warren. 
I'm going to find Polly Lou. 

Chester — And — Polly Lou hasn't got my letter ? 

Joe — I'll bet you dollars to doughnuts on that. 

Murry — (as Warren ivalks up and doivn the room) 
Use your brain, Warren ! Use your brain ! 

Joe — Have a heart, Mr. Wescott. Maybe he hasn't 
any. 

Chester — Maybe I haven't. We'll see. (looks out of 
door, c.) Here comes my sister. I'm going to ask her 
some questions. 

Murry — All right. We will give you a chance. Come 
on, Joe. 

(Joe and Murry exeunt, I. Sykuia enters, c.) 

Sylvia — (rushing to Chester) Chester, you got my 
telegram ? 

Chester — Yes, just before I started. 

Sylvia — And you brought the letter? 

Chester — Well, no. It wasmt just where I could put 
my hand on it. 

Sylvia — You haven't lost it? 

Chester — What a foolish question? Why would I be 
likely to lose it? 

Sylvia — Why such a thing would be possible and it 
is a queer sounding letter, if you don't know what it 
means. 

Chester — I should say it was. You sent it to me by 
mistake of course. 

Sylvia — Yes. I never realized until this noon what 
I had done. I found a letter I wrote to you at the same 
time, on my desk and an envelope addressed to Mr. 
Doublin. 



Polly Lou Jt9 

C/ies^er— ^Sylvia, I have been fit to be tied ever since 
I received that letter. Knowing your disposition I am 
fully aware that I might as well try to get information 
from an Egyptian mummy. I have tried to figure out 
what it was best to do and if you won't tell me what I 
want to know, I'll have to appeal to the folks. 

Sylvia — (laughing) Tattle tale. 

Chester — Do you suppose we can let you arrange 
secret meetings with a man we never heard of? Who is 
Anderson Doublin? Where did you ever meet him? 

Sylvia — I have never met him. I was going to meet 
him. 

Chester — And you have the nerve to admit it? 

Sylvia — I might as well. You have my letter to him. 

Chester — Who is he? 

Sylvia — I really don't know. 

Chester — Sylvia! Who is the girl you refer to in 
your letter? Polly Lou? 

Sylvia — I can tell you that. I am Polly Lou. 

Chester — (completely staggered) You? You? 
Why, you can't be! Why, Sylvia! Then you were at 
Harvard yesterday? 

Sylvia — (surprised) Not L 

Chester — Then you are not Polly Lou. 

Sylvia — Oh, yes I am. 

Chester — Then you were at Harvard yesterday. 

Sylvia — (laughing) We are right back where we 
started, aren't we? (suddenly becomes serious) I will 
tell you, Chester. It's perfectly harmless, although I'll 
admit it doesn't sound that way. Frances Arnold is do- 
ing reporting for a Springfield paper. I was up to 
Springfield with her last Friday night. She was to meet 
Mr. Doublin who is on the same paper she is on, at a ho- 
tel called the Conklin. We went there and had supper 
and she left me there while she went out on some assign- 
ment. While she was out the place was raided and every- 
body's name was taken. I had just read a book "Emmy 
Lou." I signed that name and to my surprise it came 
out in the paper Polly Lou and said I was having supper 



50 Polly Lou 

with Williard Bailey. I never even saw Mr. Bailey there. 
My name had been left in the office for Mr. Doublin if he 
arrived before Frances returned. I thought it best un- 
der the circumstances to see Mr. Doublin and be sure 
that my name wasn't brought into the newspapers, so I 
wrote the letter I sent to you. 

Chester — Gee, what a relief! And I've been sweat- 
ing over the thing. But, say, you are mistaken on one 
point. You are not Polly Lou. Some other Silverton 
girl was certainly concerned in the affair and in some 
way gave that name. If you gave yours Emmy Lou, they 
probably thought it was the same girl. 

Sylvia — It doesn't sound probable, but it is possible, 
and if it is so, I know who Polly Lou is. 

Chester — For heaven's sake who? 

Sylvia — Well, you don't suppose I would tell you. 
(laughs and runs out, I.) 

Chester — (hurrying after her) Sylvia! 

(Inez looks in, r, stands in door, looks back over 
her shoulder.) 

Inez — There isn't a soul here. I might have known 
they would forget to tell me. (walks to table and discov- 
ers Anderson kneeling back of table ivriting in book) 

Inez — (with a gasp) Well, I must say, Mr. An- 
struthers. What are you doing? 

Anderson — (cooly — rising) Picking daffy-dills. 
(laughs, slips book into pocket, exits, c.) 

Inez — Did you ever? (tvalks to door, r, and calls) 
Muriel, keep your eye on this room. I've got to find Miss 
Arnold. 

Muriel — (outside) All right. (Inez exits, I. slight 
pause — June and Sylvia enter, I.) 

June — What is it you want, Sylvia? 

Sylvia — (looking about) No one is here, is there? 
June, did you give your name Polly Lou last Friday 
night? 

June — (with a gasp) I? Last Friday night? What 
do you mean? 



Polly Lou 51 

Sylvia — I was there. I saw you. It was a Silverton 
girl, who was Polly Lou, so I thought it must have been 
you. 

June — (alarmed) Who else knows? 

Sylvia — Not anyone of course. And you can trust 
me not to tell. Of course you have seen the papers? 

June — That's all right. They have been taken care 
of. 

Sylvia — Oh, then, you are all right. I just wanted to 
warn you. 

June — That's kind of you. 

Sylvia — I must speak to Mr. Harrington about the 
table decorations for this evening, (exits, r. Frances 
enters, L) 

Frances — Oh, June, I'm so glad you are here. I 
wanted to tell you that I know it was you who signed as 
Polly Lou at the Conklin, Friday night. 

June — How on earth do you know? 

Frances — I saw you there with Williard Bailey. I 
just wanted to tell you in case you saw the papers that 
you needn't be alarmed. I am arranging to have you and 
Mr. Bailey kept out of it. 

June — Why, you are very kind I am sure. I believe 
he has been out there and done something about it him- 
self. 

Frances — So much the better. (Inez enters, I.) 

Inez — Miss Arnold, I have been looking for you. I 
wanted to tell you — (hesitates) 

Frances — All right. Go on. Don't mind Miss Wes- 
cott. 

Inez — A few minutes ago I found Mr. Anstruthers 
kneeling behind that table writing in a little book. You 
said to tell you anything — 

Frances — (interrupting) Yes, I did. Thank you. 
It's just as I thought. I will find him at once. (Frances 
exits, I. June walks towards door, c. Inez exits, r. Anr- 
derson comes to door, c.) 

June — (stepping hack from the door) Are you 
coming in, Mr. Anstruthers? 



52 Polly Lou 

Anderson — (enters) Yes, Miss Wescott, I wanted 
to see you. 

June — (walking forward — turns hack) To see me? 

Anderson — Yes, let's sit down here a minute, ('pulls 
a chair forivard) 

June — You — somehow — you don't seem just the 
same. 

Anderson — You mean I have dropped the West. I 
never saw the West, Miss Wescott. I am a reporter on 
a Springfield paper. I came up here today to follow up 
Mr. Bailey and you. 

June — (faintly) Me? 

Anderson — Yes. You see I know that you are Polly 
Lou. 

June — Merciful heaven! Well, you have made 
notes I suppose. 

Anderson — You bet I have and I intended to use 
them when I first came, but I have changed my mind. 
This assignment isn't at all to my liking and if you say 
the word I will fall down on it. If you knew the man I 
work for you would understand what that means. 

June — If I say the word? What does that mean? 

Anderson — (takes out note hook) Here are my 
notes. You may have them all if you will tell Mrs. Bai- 
ley that you are Polly Lou. 

June — How perfectly extraordinary. 

Anderson — Williard Bailey once did me a mighty 
good turn. He has forgotten it but I never have. He 
doesn't even remember me, but I remember him all right. 
Now this affair at the Conklin has got him in wrong with 
his mother and she is going to raise a family row because 
he refuses to tell who you are. 

June — Why, I didn't know that. 

Anderson — Of course not. He is a gentleman. Now 
what do you say? The notes are yours and my word that 
you and Bailey shall be kept out of this. 

June — Of course I will tell Mrs. Wescott. I would 
without the notes. I wouldn't make trouble for Mr. Bai- 
ley for all the world. 



Polly Lou 53 

Anderson— (hands her his book) A bargain is a 
bargain. 

(Williard, Murry and Chester enter, c. Mil- 
Ucent, Frances, Helen enter, I, followed immediately 
by Mrs. B. and Joe,) 

Mrs, B.— Listen, everyone. I have had the most 
awful thought. Give me my salts. I will take a powder 
and perhaps I had better take my drops also. (Sylvia 
enters, r.) 

Anderson — (steps forivard) How will you have 
them, ma'am? Mixed? 

Mrs. B, — (drops down by a table and waves him 
away.) Take him away! Don't let him come near me. 

Williard — (stepping forward) What is the matter, 
mother ? 

Mrs. B. — (dramatically) I believe he (points to An- 
derson) is the imposter, and the other young man is my 
nephew. 

Williard — (quickly) Why? What makes you think 
so? 

Mrs. B. — Don't you remember that our relative has 
been in England for three years? 

Williard — Why, yes, come to think of it. He came 
home about six months ago. (Anstruthers enters, I.) 

Mrs. B. — Here he is. I believe this young man is 
my nephew. 

Anstruthers — By Jove! Are you Mrs. Bailey? 

Mrs. B. — (rising) Yes. And this is Williard and 
Millicent. 

Anstruther — Delighted, don't you know. (They all 
shake hands.) 

Mrs. B. — I have had such a strange feeling that all 
was not right. 

Williard — (turning to Joe) Who is this? (points 
to Anderson.) 

Frances — I can answer that. That young man is 
Anderson Doublin. He is a reporter on the same paper 
I work for. He came up here to take notes and he has 
managed to squeeze himself in socially. 



54 Polly Lou 

Joe— "Re didn't squeeze himself in. I brought him 
in. 

Anderson — No blame coming to Joe. It's all my 
fault. I did want to take notes and I took them. I just 
handed them over to Miss Wescott. I am glad to hand 
the name Cedric Anstruthers over to its rightful owner, 
and I believe I have one other thing that doesn't belong 
to me. (takes a letter from his pocket) Mr. Warren, I 
was in Mr. Wescott's room yesterday and I took a book 
from the table to use as a writing pad. Without thinking 
I slipped it into my pocket. I found this in the front 
cover and removed it for safe keeping. (Hands the letter 
to Chester.) 

Chester — (draws a long breath and looks at Murry) 
Thanks ! 

Williard — (to Joe) And now, I think we have had 
just about enough of you and your friend. I warned 
you against pulling off any uncalled for stunts up here, 
and — 

Murry — Oh, forget it, Wil. Joe is all right. Don't 
you remember your own young days? 

Chester — Sure! It isn't long since you were a 
freshman yourself. Joe and his friend have done me a 
good turn. 

June — And they have done you one, Mr. Bailey. You 
owe this to Mr. Doublin. (turns to Mrs. B.) Mrs. Bai- 
ley, I am Polly Lou. 

All — June! Miss Wescott! 

Mrs. B. — My dear! Is it possible? 

June — And you understand, don't you, that it was 
all quite a harmless joke? 

Mrs. B. — Why, of course, my dear Miss Wescott, it 
couldn't have been anything else. 

Anstruthers — Well, I don't seem to understand just 
what this is all about, don't you know, but I have en- 
gaged the private dining room upstairs, don't you know, 
intending to entertain my relatives. Instead I think we 
will have a somewhat larger party, don't you know. I 



Polly Lou 55 

would like jolly well to have you all to dinner before we 
go to the dance, don't you know. 

AZZ— Great! Fine! Delighted! 

Anderson — Well, I'll be going. I hope you can find 
it in your hearts to forgive me some day — 

Helen — Oh, you are not going! 

All — Nonsense! Of course not! 

Milliceyit — You have given us the most excitement 
we have had in months. 

Anstruthers — I invited all, don't you know. Aunt 
Annie, we will lead the way, don't you know? 

Mrs. B. — Dear me! Millicent, bring my salts and 
powders and drops. (Exeunt, I, loith Anstruthers, the 
others follow, talking as they go. Millicent waits tch 
gather up her aunt's things. Murry also remains. Mil- 
licent starts to exit.) 

Murry — (calling her back) Miss Curtis, look at 
this. Isn't it cute? 

Millicent — (turning back) What? 

Murry — Nothing at all. I just wanted to speak to 
you. Why have you avoided me so this afternoon? 
Don't you know you are absolutely spoiling things for 
me? Suppose I have found out that you are the young 
lady that I — that — that — well, I saw yesterday. 

Millicent — Well, go on. I suppose you will force me 
to listen to an apology. 

Murry — Apology? Do you suppose I am going to 
apologize for a blessing bestowed upon me? 

Millicent — Mr. Wescott ! 

Murry — You must know how I feel. Miss Curtis. 
You must have known for a long time. I feel as if that 
— ^that accident had taken me a long way. What about 
you? 

Millicent — I — I guess you took me along with you. 

Murry-^f joyously) All the gods bless Polly Lou! 

CURTAIN. 



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